Relationship Prep 101

When Fabian and I were dating we both asked each other a whole lotta questions. You know, questions like "do you want a dog" or "do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle?" We asked each other about future children, church, traveling, and spending habits. We talked about our leadership roles in the household and what they would look like when it came to chores, cooking, and taking the garbage out. We even talked about grocery shopping and how that would look in our relationship. (our first experience grocery shopping together was hilarious)

I even went as far as asking him about parenting. I would see a scenario in the mall and ask him how would he react and handle that situation if he were the dad. Right from the beginning we both wanted to know what we were getting ourselves into and understand that, if this is for the long haul we wanted it to be right. Well, there is one thing we didn't cover. Sickness.

The end of the year our home got hit with sickness and it was our first real time navigating it together as husband and wife. Disclaimer, you can't plan for everything and really you don't want to because life is supposed to be spontaneous. However, planning for a scenario like sickness could've helped us. There were arguments and a couple nights with someone on the couch. A lot of it stemmed from frustration and lack of compassion. But here is what we learned. Also, these lessons can be applied to any and all relationship moments.
 

You're a team for a reason. When someone is tapped out, the other person needs to tap in and lead the team. Let them.

When all else fails, try the other person's way. This is hard in any circumstance because each of us has a particular way of doing things and we also think that our way is the best way. But sometimes our way just doesn't seem to be working.

Grace, more grace, and compassion. A simple, "I am so sorry." can go a long way in an escalated situation. Phrases like, "what can I do to help" or "do you need anything" need to be your best friends.
Be Open.  An open mindset, open heart, and open communication are necessary when understanding another person, especially when you vow to do life together forever. 

Remember that this too shall pass. Seasons all change and life takes us on this roller coaster ride that can leave us full of excitement or incredibly nauseous. Remember that each moment will pass and work through it one day at a time.

-F & B

2018 resolutions

We're not making new years resolutions. Don't get me wrong, we still have goals for this month that you can read below. But you will not find any resolutions here.

In 2017 God gave me more of a noise than a word to declare over my year. It was a mix between "whew," "ugh," or "pow." I think God knew I needed more than a word that year and more of a battle cry. 2017 challenged us as a family to use our voices to declare healing, blessing, freedom, and more faith.

As Fabian and I look back at 2017 we obviously think about our biggest blessing, our son Jax. God picked the perfect time for us to start a family and our precious Jax was born in June shortly after we celebrated our first wedding anniversary.

Something else that was quite a journey for us was the search for our first home together. I think we looked at over 30 houses and almost gave up until we found the perfect home for us make our own. Our new house has become our home and we love it.

The overwhelming theme of 2017 for the Vera family was God showing up and shifting our plans and turning them into  His plans for us. Last year there were so many different ways He showed up in our lives and it's funny to say now, "oh... so that's why that happened." God knows how everything is supposed to come together and He likes to challenge us as we walk through each season. He definitely did that for our family in 2017. Because 2017 was a challenge.

We had a very rocky start to 2018 but as we tackle this second week we're going to keep in mind that God already knows the outcome and knows the why behind every moment. It's a hard reminder, but somehow it brings a sense of peace to know that God is the ultimate planner and He has our best interest in mind with every little season of life.

Our January goal can be summed up in one word. Health.
We're striving for health and healing in both of our bodies, souls, and minds this month.

-Fabian, Bee, & Jax